Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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