I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Randomize
