are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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