Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
