I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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