Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
