I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
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