GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
i wish my penis had a tongue
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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