Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I want to have your abortion
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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