my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
