im drinking this country out of the recession.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I am available for nakedness
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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