no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Randomize
