Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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