Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
