I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Verdict: uncircumcised.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
