you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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