Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
