Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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