She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
