operation harelip BJ is a go
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
