We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
