He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
