I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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