party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
