Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
