This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Randomize
