I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Randomize
