I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
