What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
