I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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