Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
