what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
