I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
