I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
