I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I would ride that face into the sunset
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
