It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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