I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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