I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
