I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
