I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Randomize
