i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Randomize
