Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
