No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
do herpes really smell.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
