totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize