My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Randomize
