you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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