Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
