we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
