escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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