just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
