what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
