Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
i dont even know how to be here
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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