you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
