so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Randomize
